Ho Hum

i hate having days where i feel like doing nothing and i have days like this all of the time. and i hear this voice in my head telling me i'm lazy. but i'm not lazy and that's not a defense because i'm really not lazy. unmotivated - yes. depressed - yes. but not lazy. i get things done. i'm tired and sleep & i am incredibly sunburned from working in the garden all day on saturday. and it's getting ready to rain. and my best friend in the whole world isnt reachable today for more then a 2 minute conversation. and then i ask myself why does that matter? it does because i cant even get my day started without a good conversation with my friend. am i the only one who feels that way or needs that?
anyway, the kids are busy. the boy keeps getting up on my bed - up & down. he even fell off and busted his mouth. but he never stops moving. and the wild girl has her gameboy on with the volume up and is wallowing around in my bed.
i've official overspent on eli's birthday that is coming next Tuesday. but she deserves it. now i will just have to deal with her father over what i spent. he doesnt overspend on anything!

and rachel is having issues that make me sad and worry about her. it's tough being a teenager. i wouldnt go back for anything in this world. i hated being a teenager. i keep telling my friend how i've blocked it all out - all out - i cant even remember people's names. i have people emailing about my "high school reunion - 20 years!" and i have no clue who they are - no clue!
man it's grey outside and it is pouring. but that means i dont have to go outside and deal with chickens. my big chickens killed one of my little 13 week barred rock chickens. i was not happy. they can be so incredibly mean - big chickens! so how did scared people get the name of chicken? chickens are mean and not scared of much.