saturday night church

we attended saturday night church last night at our church - Upward Church . unfortunately Levi is not feeling well again...i think his ear infection is back with a vengence. he will be making a check up to the doctor tomorrow. sadly this time he is whiny. for the boy who is never whiny........he is now. he's miserable & making us miserable with him as nothing satisfies.
anyway, he & i stayed in the parent's room so he could play & i could listen to the sermon. the sermon was on forgiveness. i am sure i'm not presumptious to say i'm not the only one who has a hard time with forgiveness...whether giving it or accepting it. i deal with both issues but am focusing at the moment on the giving aspect.
Pastor Craig emphasized again a lesson i had been taught a long time ago while in college: forgiveness is an every day exercise. i will never forget my Resident Director at Emmanual College, Tim Harrison, telling me that same thing concerning some family issues that i was dealing with at the time. and it's true. and just like with sit ups..if you slack up, your muscles get weak. i will be the first one to say....i am weak,  my forgiveness muscle is weak...almost atrophied at this point. and just like with the flesh saying no to desiring exercise...our flesh & our emotions a lot of time dont want to forgive. it means giving up. and that giving up can mean a lot of different things: giving up on reconciliation of relationships, giving up on it mattering if you are right, giving up anger & hurt. giving up what makes us comfortable because we have held onto ...whatever...for so long.
another thing Pastor Craig said that really struck me was that it's ok to forgive and keep your distance...basically forgiveness from afar. the reality is forgiveness isnt for the other person...it's for the individual exercising the forgiveness. so if truly forgiving means you have to give up relationships & not put yourself in the position to stir up old wounds....that's definitely not a bad thing. it's probably a wise thing while most likely still being a hard thing.

i'm thankful for good teaching that reiterates past teachings & calls me to restrengthen important spiritual muscles.

"For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions." Matthew 6:14

on a separate note we have had to switch doctors with our child in therapy. we have some tests coming up that have the potential to hold devastating news on the surface - but not insurmountable in the long run. (we got the call yesterday from the new doctor of what was suspected). please pray as we navigate these test.