this little fella

so this little fella went to the doctor today. he's got a bad ear infection in his right ear & fluid build up in his left. he is also on mandatory breathing treatments 2 x a day for 2 weeks with both steriod & albuterol and as needed with the albuterol (which has been about 1 extra a day). he was so funny at the doctor's office.
the only way i knew he was sick was because 1. he was wheezing & 2. he started today with a thick green snot. otherwise i would have never thought he would have had a terrible ear infection. he is the most pleasant kid - besides his brother, Asher & his big sister, Rachel.  but he is a comedian on top of his sweetness. he's so funny. he is constantly making us laugh.
and he LOVES to be outside. he LOVES to watch the chickens in their coops. he cries everytime we bring him in. he only cries when he has a poopie diaper, when he's hungry or when he has to come inside - or when he is made to sit down in his high chair. he hates that. well & like his mother he really does not like to hear the word no.
anyway, he is a joy & precious. i'm so thankful for him. i'm so thankful for all of my children. they are all blessings. i am looking forward to this baby regardless.

 "Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth.
How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed
When they speak with their enemies in the gate."  Psalm 127:3-5

too cute

i know i keep posting pictures of esther or levi lately...but they are really cute & at a fun stage. rachel was pulling them around in the wagon today while i was getting clothes in off the clothes line & she rode them past me & i had to snap some pictures. Our beloved Georgia's cherry blossom tree is blooming & rachel picked off a couple of the flowers & stuck them behind their ears. esther thought it was hilarious that levi had one on his ear.
anyway, they were happy.

also here are a couple of SHORT videos that rachel took of levi today dancing. the boy has some moves!! again they are short - very short videos. if you blink you might miss them. and you will notice a few other little people dancing around him.

levi

this boy is turning into a comedian. he's all smiles & giggles! he never fails to make us laugh & he never says a word - really he doesnt speak a word. we never hear mama, dada, no, mine...nothing....nada....well i take it back he will point & say "this". and he on occasion will say "thank you" but other than that...nothing. but he conveys himself without having to say a word. (and we are working on the sign language).

i think he is realizing that 1. when a camera is around you give your "cheese" face. & 2. when you get caught being somewhere you dont belong you give your cute cheese face because it gets you out of trouble. yes that is the dog kennel he was in. we had to keep it in the kitchen for Readen, our Cocker Spaniel, to heal from her recent surgery. Levi LOVED the dog kennel. and then he climbed in the girls barbie house. Elizabeth caught him up there today. crazy kid. now he's starting to climb. I am in soooo much trouble! but it's good trouble (if there is even such a thing!)

and now for baby names - a bit early:

girl names:
Cadence Ruth or Ruth Cadence - cant decide which way i like it
that's the only one i've even considered at this point. I can see a little Ruthie running around with Esther.
Well i also like Naomi - but at this point, Ruth sticks with me more.

boy names:
Samuel Zachariah  (but on further examination i'm not digging Sammy Simmons - but we would never call him Sammy - it would be Samuel or either Zach - most likely Zach)
Ezekiel Zachariah (still Zach) (rachel said it had too many z's)
Daniel Zachariah (now leaning towards that) (rachel said she knows too many daniel's & doesnt like it)
Judah Isaiah (but Judah is not at the top of my list)
Hudson is a consideration still...Hudson Isaiah or Hudson Zachariah...I'm definitely leaning more towards Zachariah than anything at this point.
and Luther Zachariah is always in my mind...Luther has always been a name i wanted to use & i'm sure - for the most part - that this will be my last baby - unless we adopt & get to do a name change.

i guess i need to get further along & decide if we are going to find out the sex or not. since this baby was a complete surprise - i'm contemplating keeping the sex a surprise until the end. wouldnt that be fun?! i dont know if i can do it tho. someone once told me that if my babies were little chicks in eggshells that they would never make it to hatching as i would crack them open way before they were ready to see if they were done! so yep, i'm a tad bit impatient. (also you have to understand that we do about 6 hatches of chicks & ducks a year &  1 time when i thought the little chick was dead in the egg i unfortunately cracked it open to see the development. but i'm always putting a flash light up to them to see them moving in the eggs & their developmental stage is only 21 days at most) also FYI: we have 2 little polish chicks that hatched out this weekend in a brooder...so sweet!

and i know y'all are probably wondering what Clay has to say about all of this......he trust me with the kids names. very rarely has he put his foot down. he does like Samuel Zachariah (he thinks the baby will be a boy) but i dont think he was looking at it in light of the SS together. i didnt at first then when i said it outloud i didnt like it so much. but we just talked about it today actually so it wasnt a major discussion........he wasnt even keen on Asher at first but now sees that i really did know what i was doing. i truly believe we should name our children with much prayer and consideration. so while these names are all fun to go through...i still have some praying to do & i have to have an idea of who this child is in the womb. got some time either way!

discontentment.....there has to be more....

an oldie but a goodie & totally sums up my feelings of late.....

More To This Life, Stephen Curtis Chapman
(be sure to turn off the music player at the bottom)


Today I watched in silence as people passed me by,
And I strained to see if there was something hidden in their eyes;
But they all looked at me as if to say
Life just goes on.

The old familiar story told in different ways,
Make the most of your own journey from the cradle to the grave;
Dream your dreams tomorrow because today
Life must go on.

CHORUS
But there’s more to this life than living and dying,
More than just trying to make it through the day;
More to this life, more than these eyes alone can see,
And there’s more than this life alone can be.

Tonight he lies in silence staring into space,
And looks for ways to make tomorrow better than today,
But in the morning light it looks the same;
Life just goes on.

He takes care of his family, he takes care of his work,
And every Sunday morning he takes his place at the church;
And somehow he still feels a need to search,
But life just goes on.

(chorus)

So where do we start to find every part
Of what makes this life complete;
If we turn our eyes to Jesus we’ll find
Life’s true beginning is there at the cross where He died.
He died to bring us . . .

(chorus)

And for cuteness:

i found the sweetest baby boy standing in his crib giggling with his big brother who was up in the top bunk when they were suppose to be sleeping. time flies & they grow so fast.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
he is so proud of himself (& he should be!) man he cried when i laid him down!! but i'm glad he & asher get along well. it's good to hear them giggling together.

life as we know it

life as we know it consist of levi having RSV/Bronchilitis that requires round the clock breathing treatments. thankfully he is not at such a bad stage that he has to be hospitalized. he is still eating & not having to choose between eating & breathing. i am hoping he doesnt get that bad.
but here are a series of pictures that shows you where i spend my days & with whom i spend them.

this is levi who looks like he is questioning my mental state. thankfully he isnt wearing his sickness in his little face.....he is still sooo cute!

this is the new nebulizer we received yesterday at the doctors after i asked for it. the old one is about 6 years old. i actually ordered new filters for it & will still use the old one when i have multiple kids having treatments - which is a at least once a year occurance in my house for prolonged periods. that's a "bubbles the fish" face mask for kids. it is suppose to make taking the treatments easier, more friendly for the little kids. it doesnt work.



this is the old blue lazy boy rocker recliner that we sit in to take the treatments. what i didnt put in the picture is the huge tv sitting on a tv stand in front of that chair.the tv stand also houses the treatment machine & medicine. we watch cartoons when we do treatments. it's what it is.

this was levi after his treatment this morning. very sweet. he doesnt cry at all during them.....he is just as sweet and congenial through it all. 

after i gave levi his treatment this morning i went in search of the other noise i was hearing. this is what i found. i'm not sure what they were up to, but they sure were cute.

rachel & elizabeth were up and didnt want their pictures taken. they are such a big help to me. i was suppose to take them to the Justin Bieber movie today but because levi is attached & shouldnt be out for a while, well i cant go out. so clay offered to take them and rachel was horrified. she refuses to go see justin bieber with her dad. soooo he is taking them to see Gnomeo & Juliet instead. rachel is fine with that. life is going to be rough for the next few weeks. clay will either get a taste of all the running around i do on a daily basis with the kids or else they kids will not be keeping their daily schedules. oh well...this will pass.

levi's dedication

levi was dedicated at church today. it's always a sombering thought knowing that levi will learn of the Lord first through his mother's love, then as his father & mother teach him together. we are responsible for who he is. i know that some people might think that actually raising the children doesnt come into my consideration when i want to have another child, but that couldnt be farther from the truth. that weighs heavily on me - constantly. it is not a responsibility i take lightly. i realize raising my children is a high calling & a privilege & it is one i absolutely i love.
i am uploading video to my youtube account & hopefully will be able to attach it to this post later.
but for now...here is some pictures of levi in his bumbo, in the bath & a group shot of the dedication. sadly i didnt even get a single picture of levi by himself in his beautiful white sweater outfit. next time he wears it i will.

look at those kissable lips! he is such a doll. he was actually looking & watching intently his sisters who were standing over the tub watching him.



















and yes his little ears are a bit elfish, but he's one of the cutest elves ever right?!













we are all up there...all 8 of us. the families to the right of us were dedicating their kids also. we tend to take care of the dedications rather quickly. i cant handle letting it go for too long.








pastor craig said he wanted to hold one of the "babies" being dedicated & levi was actually the only real baby up there so of course pastor grabbed him up. and levi was perfect for him. it is always humbling to think about God's great love for us that He came in the form of a vulnerable little baby to save us from an eternity separated from Him.

"for God so loved the world that He gave His one & only Son, that whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16

illness & longings of my heart

well the lovely little vomiting bug going around finally reached us. abigail, asher & esther all got hit...abigail is still down a bit with it. but thank God it's only been 36 hours or so. not even a full 48 hours yet. i'm tired. yesterday was the worst of it. it was a long, long, long day. esther fought using a bowl and was extremely clingy to mother yesterday. i have got to get her on video of doing the "itsy, bitsy spider" song. abigail vomited on sheets and then lay in it so not to bother anyone (she did that through the night also). asher.....sweet asher.....would quietly walk to the bathroom, throw up, wipe his mouth & be done. i think the word "stoic" just comes to mind about him. and the way he talks...his accent...what a loverboy! i'm pretty much in love!
speaking of being in love......well levi has my heart too. we spend a lot of time together. especially in the darkness of night. he looks at me with such love & wonder when he wakes up and needs to eat. how can i sleep when he stares at me like i give him the very breathe he is breathing? i talk to him. sing to him. hold him. rub his feet & his little face. hold him close & snuggle. he's so precious.
now with all of that being said - and yes i know i'm completely out of my mind - i want to be pregnant again.
i had a conversation wth a dear friend today & they said "well why cant you be content with levi?" it has nothing to do with not being content with levi. i am madly in love with levi. i am happy with levi. i dont begrudge the lack of sleep. i dont begrudge my life being a sacrifice to him...or any of my children. i love my children. i just miss being pregnant. i miss the excitement, the anticipation of the new baby. i dont want to be done. i dont want this time in my life to be over.
the stark reality is i will most likely never be pregnant again and that makes me hurt.  my heart, beating in my chest, physically aches over that thought. tears automatically spring to my eyes (as they are doing as i type) when i have that thought.
am i crazy? probably. do i have major dsyfunction in this desire in my life? most likely. do i care that i might be dsyfunctional or crazy? nope, not at all. why? because the outcome is such a blessing. a baby does nothing but bring joy - overall.
anyway, that's on my mind.
but back to levi. he looks like a giant baby in the following pictures, but in reality he is 10 weeks old & only weighs 10lbs. i love him. he is so special. and he has a tint of RED hair. I LOVE IT!