Friday, July 17, 2009

life moves on & quickly too

summer - from all signs in the stores - is almost over! but i keep telling myself we havent even been in summer for a full month. not until the 20th of July. why are we rushing it? well i'm not rushing it - but i feel like i'm being made to rush it. by crap, the tomatoes are still not putting our well & i havent gotten one good watermelon yet - so dont tell me summer is almost over. i think what gets me is the school supplies that are out already at the stores. i have to stay away or i will spend way to much money on new markers, crayons & sharpies. i have issues. but then again, dont we all.
my mind reels constantly. the state of the nation - the government take over of everything. but of the healthcare system - that frightens me - really bad. my kids growing up way to fast. i'm missing too much. i just know it. my mother having a bout in the hospital because she got the wrong blood pressure medicine. the thought of losing my mother or father. i cant handle it. paying the bills. being a good person. making it to heaven. the canteloupes not going bad. losing weight. making sure my chickens dont die. helping elizabeth not have abandonment issues. helping abby have self control. having rachel not flounder in her life decisions - knowing where she should go in life. asher being a man. esther surviving the "loving" she recieves when i turn my back! .....so many other things i'm not even mentioning.
ok well i will have to finish this rant later. asher is screaming in his bed. i love him so much. "no teef, just lips!"

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