Friday, July 25, 2008

my buddy

i cant help but look at my son and just fall in love everytime i look at him. he is so precious. he is handsome and smart and funny. he is cute and busy and just full of life and love for me. he says "mama" and it melts my heart. i love him so much and am so thankful for him. so wonderfully thankful for him. he is my little man.

this is him walking through the rows of corn. how precious is he in these green overalls and that blonde hair? he is GORGEOUS! i want another baby boy but i seriously doubt i could love another son like i love him. but i bet it wouldnt be so hard. i really love having a boy! it is so great.
ok, the last one. tell me how i could not be in love with that face. he is darling. and he is such a typical little guy. he has no clue what is going on!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

my boy & his chicken

well words cant even begin to describe his scene. all i will say is this boy loves these chickens. he freaks if he doesnt get to hold them. i imagine he feels like such a big boy. but what is hilarious is he throws them down when he is done. he's all boy.

and elizabeth had a birthday on tuesday. i think she had a good time. she got a skateboard, playmobils, a webkins and some cold hard cash! she was waiting on cake for her birthday and she hadnt opened her presents yet. it was a long day. we went to the water park.

abby at the waterpark. she had a blast!

And last but not least but Rachel & Buddy with the chicken. that chicken walked around with them in that bucket that Asher was carrying around. they went to check the mail together. if you could see this picture closer you might be as struck as i am at how much rachel and asher favor right down the bridge of their noses. they really adore each other. rachel always wanted a little brother. i think she likes her little brother better then her little sisters! but that's ok. they all get plenty of love from one another. i also remind rachel of all those tears she cried over wanting a brother &/or a sister. she has a triple portion now!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

How do I Deal?

man, elizabeth's mornings are so tumultuous. it can go either way with her at the drop of a hat. it's incredible. she picked out this really cute outfit to wear - a church outfit - that i let her wear to school. she was wearing her "high heeled" sandals (high heeled for a 9 year old!). anyway, i bought the girls some headbands - that they didnt deserve because they dont take care of them and let the puppy chew them up. but anyway i got them some new ones and there were 3 that i specifically said were only for sundays - ONLY FOR SUNDAYS!!! and rachel and elizabeth both heard me say it. so this morning with her cute outfit on she brought out one of the headbands ONLY FOR SUNDAY! and asked me in front of her father if she could wear it today. so instead of saying no (and mind you i already knew how i was going to do her hair and had asked her, before she got the headband out to get me a brush and a black rubberband - i was twisting her hair and pulling it back making it look cute and elegant to go with her outfit. but who am i? just her mom) i asked her "what did i say about those headbands?" and she said "what, no?" and i said "elizabeth, what did i say about those 3 particular headbands?" and she said "only on sunday." and i said "yes so why are you asking to wear it." so she stomped off and put it away. then her father had the audacity to tell me that i had the power to make or break her mood. wait a minute - how did i become the bad guy? what galls me to no end is she knew about those particular headbands - 3 out of 20 were just for sunday. how am i the bad guy? why didnt he back me up? he told me i could "play" with her and get her out of her attitude. he tried and she ended up kicking me while i was doing her hair - and i said nothing by the way - but she still didnt get out of her mood. it just pisses me off. it makes me not want to do anything nice. it's not appreciated. it makes me want to put all of the headbands in the garbage because crap, they will end up there anyway. elizabeth has a knack for pushing me to the limit over really stupid stuff and having major attitude when she knows what the answer will be. and then i feel guilty. i really think it's stupid to have a battle over a headband. i have been reminded that i'm the adult - which i am. i get that. but it's the principle of it all. i specifically told them in the beginning those headbands were just for church. man! so it started my day off just right.

then i get an email from someone at church who wasnt at church on sunday. they made an announcement on sunday about the service time being changed from 11 - 10:45 because there seemed to be too much lag time between sunday school and morning service. well as the sunday school director's wife i had to send out an email to all of the sunday school teachers as a reminder. (it really isnt my responsibility. that was said with much sarcasm! i'm not the director - why do i have to send out the emails?) and i get an email saying "we didnt know about the change - thanks for letting us know." i'm sure it wasnt meant as anything but i'm so on the defensive about church and who's leaving and who's not that i just didnt set right with me. no one knew about the change until sunday and if they had of been there they would have known then. whatever.

i'm just in a bad mood.

plus i spent all day in the garden on saturday to the point of extreme sunburn on my back and a few of my tomato plants are back on the ground from the little bit of rain we got yesterday. so now i have to get back out there and fix some of them.

it pisses me off. i'm so angry. so ANGRY!!! why am i such an angry person?

and now i just recieved an email that the kitchen set for christmas that i ordered has become unavailable and they are cancelling my order. well i better see a credit on my visa card. so i had to order it from another store. COME ON!!! i wanted to order this particular item last year for $99 + about $35 for shipping but i got told no. now i'm having a hard time finding it. it has some particular features that i think abby will enjoy that other kitchen sets dont have. it has a play cordless phone and a towel rack. it's wooden too. anyway, i'm paying about $175. but that's all she is getting for christmas. with the pots and pans and pretend food. but whatever. they are only getting big items this year instead of a bunch of little ones. buddy is getting a train table with the trundles and a nice train set on it. plus when he is finished with the train down the road he can use the table for his playmobil sets that i have for him (the whole police set, the whole vikings set and soon i want to order the romans - the arena is so cool but i'm waiting until i have an extra $350 - $400 laying around!). the big girls are getting a Wii together with the right remotes and 7 games. i mean come on - that is ridiculously expensive (about $650) BUT they wanted this video game system and it's not like the regular video game systems. it gets them up. they have to actually move to play these games.

ok, whatever. i so need to just get a grip and calm down.

i need to go smell buddy's neck. that always makes me feel better! he is such a sweet boy but he wont let me near him if he is playing. he's such a boy! but i like that.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Ho Hum

i hate having days where i feel like doing nothing and i have days like this all of the time. and i hear this voice in my head telling me i'm lazy. but i'm not lazy and that's not a defense because i'm really not lazy. unmotivated - yes. depressed - yes. but not lazy. i get things done. i'm tired and sleep & i am incredibly sunburned from working in the garden all day on saturday. and it's getting ready to rain. and my best friend in the whole world isnt reachable today for more then a 2 minute conversation. and then i ask myself why does that matter? it does because i cant even get my day started without a good conversation with my friend. am i the only one who feels that way or needs that?
anyway, the kids are busy. the boy keeps getting up on my bed - up & down. he even fell off and busted his mouth. but he never stops moving. and the wild girl has her gameboy on with the volume up and is wallowing around in my bed.
i've official overspent on eli's birthday that is coming next Tuesday. but she deserves it. now i will just have to deal with her father over what i spent. he doesnt overspend on anything!

and rachel is having issues that make me sad and worry about her. it's tough being a teenager. i wouldnt go back for anything in this world. i hated being a teenager. i keep telling my friend how i've blocked it all out - all out - i cant even remember people's names. i have people emailing about my "high school reunion - 20 years!" and i have no clue who they are - no clue!
man it's grey outside and it is pouring. but that means i dont have to go outside and deal with chickens. my big chickens killed one of my little 13 week barred rock chickens. i was not happy. they can be so incredibly mean - big chickens! so how did scared people get the name of chicken? chickens are mean and not scared of much.