in light of God's standard

i cant win with certain people. i cant say anything. i cant comment. i cant have an opinion. it really stinks. i'm really not being neurotic. i dont want it to be about me. but i know it is. and it hurts too -- to be so misunderstood by someone who is suppose to know me and know my heart.

can you feel flashy's emotion in this picture? he is just hanging his head in disappointment. he had to wear the muzzle. the reality is he hadnt done anything wrong but because we had put them on readen & calpurnia - who fight, we put it on him too just to be fair & just in case he decided to get into the fray. he didnt. he ended up laying down & sleeping. (i know i keep saying this, but that is an excellent dog! & i love him dearly!)
well the way he looks is how i feel....just that defeated & disappointed. i dont want to fight. i dont want to be misunderstood. i dont want to assume. i wish it would just be said & done & over with...but it never is. that's never how it's done.
so i am left with the realization that i need to just move on. keep my head up. keep doing what i am doing.....trying my very best to do what i'm suppose to do: be the best i can  be in light of God's standard - whether it's being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend......whatever hat i am wearing....be the best i can be in light of God's standard.

homemade vs. store bought

i'm not really going to get into the pros & cons of homemade vs. store bought. i know there is value in store bought & there of course is value in homemade.
at the moment, in my life i am enjoying a few products of my own labor.....the canning of vegetables in our chilis & stews & my new clothesline with towels that actually absorb water efficiently & they smell heavenly. well i have branched out in a few areas thanks to the website "pinterest". if you arent a member of that website i would strongly suggest anyone who wants to do things better, be more organized, look for good recipes, fashion ideas, gift ideas, see pretty pictures...go on pinterest.

anyway i have started making our landry soap, fabric softner & our dishwasher detergent. this next month i am going to branch out into glass cleaner & toothpaste....yep, tooth paste. i'm also going to start putting together our onion soup mix that goes in almost every soup, chili, or roast i make, our taco seasoning & our ranch dressing mix.

i'm tired of the flowery chemical smells that make my asthma flair up as well as my children's. i know it sounds nutty right? do i need to make our laundry soup, can vegetables, use cloth diapers, have our egg eating hens processed for stews, shop at the thrift store (boy i scored today - more about that later) - NO!! well why then do i do it?

i like the idea of saving money. of helping cut cost in one area so we can put money in another. but the biggest reason i do those things is because i enjoy them. yes, that's the truth. i get a real satisfaction out of using the cloth diapers. i never have to run out to the store because i've run out of diapers. i just have to wash them (which i'm doing now!). i like the idea of hanging my clothes on the clothesline & my kids like the way the clothes smell & feel. that's no joke. that is the truth. i love being outside hanging the clothes up....i get time to myself & with my dogs....yep..with my dogs. even my cats come along & sit with me while i hang clothes. also i fold them as i'm taking them down & it gives me more outside time - alone time - with my thoughts - or again - with the dogs. and the clothes are folded faster & put away faster than when i use to do them in the dryer. and did you know that the dryer is one of the biggest drains on your electric bill? & mine just jumped from $123 a month to a whopping $267...yep....per month. that is insane!!
as for the laundry soap, fabric softner & dishwashing detergent....i am beyond thrilled with myself. i cant tell you how satisfied i feel at doing that. i never would have thought i would give up my addiction to tide, downy & cascade....but i have. this is no lie....what i made works better or as efficiently!! and quite frankly the smell is just as good - if not better. the dishwashing detergent for the dishwasher actually works better, especially with white vinegar in the rinse aid slot. no more cloudy rubbermaid storage containers.

also for homemade it's christmas time again. with that being said we have been making our yearly ornaments. this year we have branched out from just the paint inside the clear glass ornaments to putting glitter inside them. basically we swish mop n' glo inside the glass ornaments, pour the excess out after the inside is coated well & then we pour in the glitter, shake, make sure the inside is covered, let it dry for 2 hours, shake out the excess glitter, pop the top on & there you go....a very pretty ornament. also this year we have been making glitter animals. i told the kids we were the "glitterati" but they didnt understand. but we bought some little rubbery/hard plastic animals & we painted glue onto them & then we shook glitter on them (this was a martha stewart idea) & man they are soooooo gorgeous. my favorite is the little deer, the sheep & the little goat....but i like the teal cow also.....just wait until you see the pictures.....to die for! you will run out & become "glitterati" yourself!!
we are giving some away - of the ornaments & animals, & keeping some. rachel's co-op teachers, friends we are eating thanksgiving with, loved ones....clay's employees love them...etc.....
we even have a glow-in-the-dark ornament this year. basically we put glow-in-the-dark paint inside the ornament & will write in thick glue the kids names on them & then pour glitter on the glue - so they will have an ornament with their name in glitter on it that glows-in-the-dark. asher is beyond thrilled with that idea.
i also wanted to say this....asher picks out the wildest colors of paint to put in his ornaments & when they mix together they tend to be some of the prettiest. it's the wildest thing i have seen.
and for those of you who know how ocd i am about my glitter & paint...i have been doing excellent! i even combined the glitter tonight after we made our first batch of animals. i guess i will just start a jar of mixed glitter. i gave up trying to keep it all separated. it was too hard. and the kids are really doing excellent. and i love having esther paint glue on her animal & to see them shaking the paint inside the ornaments. they have done so well. i am very happy over all & we are making very good memories. they all enjoy doing this & expect it every year. it's a good thing.

ok as for the thrift store....elizabeth has been needing boots. she has grown so fast lately i am having a hard time keeping up. she is in a woman's size 5 1/2 - 6 depending on how shoes are made. anyway, i stopped at the thriftstore today. i scored - not 1, but 2 - fully leather (except for the soles), never been worn (as the sticker tags were still on the soles & no scuffs at all on the soles) up to under her knee boots....nice, warm brown boots. both different. rachel can wear a pair if she wants to as i think they are in the same size. oh, you want to know how much i paid???? $12 for both pair....yes for both pair together! i couldnt have bought her 1 pair of boots that were not leather at Target for that price. not only that but i was able to get esther 4 pairs of jeans & 1 really cute jean jacket/blazer, 3 books (1 a hardback Nancy Drew that elizabeth is reading now - so when i find them i buy them. it was #51 in the series), levi -1 pair of jeans & a ralph lauren button down, long sleeved shirt, and asher 2 pair of casual sports paints - one that snaps down both sides of the legs & one with spiderman on him (major score on that one). all of that for a grand total of $47. did i mention that all of the denim was old navy, gap or osh gosh? yep! in perfect condition. i LOVE the thrift store!
ok now for pictures!

the little silver deer to the right is my favorite! there are 2 horses (red & gold), a purple rabbit behind the deer, a bob cat (asher's), a wolf, a duck & a pig on this plate!

a green rooster, a royal blue ram, a gold hen, a sweet white gold goat in the middle, a white sheep & a teal calf.

see i did put all the glitter together - for all you doubters that i could actually do it. i might not sleep tonight thinking about it...but i will get over it eventually!

some of our glitter ornaments. some have 1 solid color of glitter & others have 3 different colors swirled to make them look marbled. soooo much fun. and yes, the kids have been doing these - even esther & it is just mop n' glo & ultra fine glitter.

some of our paint ornaments turned upside down letting them drip overnight. not one is the same! so cool

these are done & i have to put the hangers back on them & then pick out coordinating ribbons.

more glittery ones! all solids i think except that yellow & red one that looks like the new crackle fingernail polish.

and more paint ones. it's just the acrylic enamel paint. one thing i did different this year & i am noticing a big difference in having to go back & fix a spot - i actually rinsed them with alcohol before we used them & let them dry. that has really helped, even tho it was a tedious step.

my bucket of paints. (yes i have issues ok!)

our table of glitter, mop n' glo & glues.

some of the animals we need to do tomorrow. i am actually going to the dollar tree to see if i cant find some more deer. i love the little deer & sheep. soooo cute. i cant wait to put them on the mantle or on the table during supper.

this is the glow-in-the-dark ornament dripping into it's cup. i am so excited. asher will be thrilled!

this is what i keep my laundry soap in now. go REDSKINS!!!

this is the finished project. i love it!!! this will do about 600 loads of laundry. clay got me the bucket & i dont have the heart to tell him it's too big so i will just use it.

and as i'm sure you can read, is my fabric softner. very happy! it's basically borax (i think if i remember correctly) hair conditioner with the smell of your choice & white vinegar.) it smells so good!



levi turned 1

so yep a year has gone by & Levi is one. he is a sweet boy who i love dearly. i hate that he has to grow up. i wish i could bottle these little years up & keep them forever!

he was stunned most of the day...like he had no clue what was going on. he eventually ate his cake & enjoyed himself. We had some dear family friends over for some cake & ice cream. It was a small gathering & went by way too fast. I wish we lived closer to actual family but that isnt the case so we really do appreciate all of our friends who we consider family spending an afternoon together with us & our wild, loud bunch!
i will have to post pictures later as i'm tired.
it's been a rough week & 1/2. Clay, Rachel & Elizabeth went to Belize, Central America last week. they helped a man named Eduardo build a building to house his business to support his family & they helped sheet rock Allison & Heather's house (newlywed missionaries that help Pastor Ron) & they helped with preschool.
But for the last 4 days at least, 6 out of 8 of us have been sick. I took 5 out of the 6 children to the doctor today. Rachel has bronchitis & is on 3 different meds. Abigail has bronchitis & is on 4 different meds. Asher has strep throat & fluid behind his ear & he is on 1 med, Esther has bronchitis & is on 3 different meds, & Levi has a viral infection - the doctor thinks - that is causing some asthmatic wheezing so to be safe Dr. V gave him the same type of antibiotic and he is also on 2 other meds in his 2 times a day at least breathing treatments. The ones on breathing treatments (Abigail, Esther & Levi) have to take them 2 times a day (unless they wheeze badly during the day and will need a "rescue" treatment of just albuterol) for the next 2 weeks. Rachel is on an albuterol inhaler & a steriod inhaler for the next 2 weeks also. Elizabeth is the only one of the children that is not sick - thank goodnes. Clay is not sick either. I have a touch of bronchitis. Enough to be annoying but not enough to get me in bed & down for 2 weeks.

i laughed so hard!

i am not the type of person that really laughs hard a lot. it's just not who i am. there are only 3 people who i can think of at the moment who i laugh with - who gets my sense of dry humor & i get their's. 1 of them i'm related to & the 2 others are close friends. but when i really get going i laugh a wheezy, sounds like i've been a smoker my whole life, barely breathing kind of laugh....and i did that tonight after reading this. i hope you enjoy it as much as Rachel & I did.

fall festival time

well we have started our round of fall festivals in the area. a big baptist church up near our house had their fall festival yesterday. they do it so efficiently & it's just enough....not too much candy or too many activities. it took about 1 hr & 15 minutes & we were done. we only took abigail, asher & esther yesterday. rachel was finishing up school work (yes on Sunday - she is swamped this year), levi had a runny nose & it was in the middle of his nap time & elizabeth just didnt want to go. the 3 we took were soooo excited to be in their costumes. they had a good time. we have at least 2 planned for this coming weekend - possibly 3....on the 29th, 30th & 31st. fun, fun, fun. and just for the record, the candy they got yesterday is all gone today! their little baskets or candy bags are only about the size of a 10 - 12oz cup at most, which in my opinion is plenty of candy. after we took out the laffy taffy, tootsie rolls, milk duds & jolly ranchers which i dont let them have for 2 reasons (healthy teeth & choking hazards), there wasnt tons left.
anyway, here are a few pictures of my blue butterfly, iron man 2 & the bumble bee.

ok i couldnt leave out pictures of my flashy. i say this all the time to the point that i'm sure it's sickening but this dog is awesome. i love this dog. i tried to go to weight watchers tonight & he jumped in the van & sat on the seat beside me. he wanted to go. but since he isnt trustworthy in the chewing department i didnt know if he would have chewed the car to shreds if i left him for an hour or so in the car unattended. he's only about 6 months old. again, not trustworthy enough in the chewing department. i had to physically drag him out of the van. and believe me it hurt my heart to do it. if clay hadnt of been there telling me i couldnt take him i probably would have taken him & not worried about the chewing. i'm that kind of girl....do what feels right & then worry about the consequences later. (i so hope my kids have better sense than that!)

and this picture is one rachel took 2 weeks ago when she was in her "i might want to be a photographer" mode. she got it of flashy running. i just liked his ears in this picture. I LOVE THIS DOG!! he will sit for hours beside me if i rub his ears & his ears feel like silk! he smells like a skunk most of the time but he still has silky fur & ears. i love me some flashy boy!

rachel

i meant to add this picture on the last post, just because:
my beautiful girl, rachel. such a good help to me.
she's funny.
she's smart.
i am so blessed by her.

lately

lately i am behind on everything. lately there is still illness in the house. lately i feel overwhelmed, sad & just really want to pull the covers over my head & wish the badness, sadness, ickiness to go away.

anyway...i have been making lapbooks for my children's science curriculum. i bought the cd that held all of the directions to make the lapbooks. i had to make 8. basicly 4 of the first 7 lessons & 4 for the last 7 lessons. the kids can not wait to get their hands on them. (i made 1 for Elizabeth, Abigail, Asher & Esther. I figured Asher & Esther would not let us leave them out & if they dont abuse them too badly than maybe they can reuse them when it comes time for them to actually use the curriculum & learn from it more indebth). come Monday they will get their hands on them!! the lapbooks go hand-in-hand with apologia's astronomy curriculum. apologia's science curriculum is top notch. the basis for their curriculum is God created the universe & that the earth is relatively young - about 6,000 years old. our beliefs line up with the belief they teach. and their curriculum is hard!! very hard!!! we have been using it for a few years now & i love it. rachel is doing their chemistry this year. she wishes they had a lapbook for chemistry too, but nope. they dont.

i have been cutting out fabric - just since yesterday - to throw together a comfort quilt for my sister renee. she lost her sweet little dog, oscar on tuesday.

(i took this picture off of her facebook page)
he was her faithful companion for the last 14 years & sadly he had cancer & she had to put him down. she is devastated & i understand it. i cant make it better, but i hope i can ease her pain to know we are hurting with her. anyway, i found this pattern of an easy quilt on a new website of which i am addicted; http://www.pinterest.com/ . if you havent joined, you should. there are tons of ideas for clothing, gifts, recipes, crafts, photography. it's a bunch of blogs all in one sight.
anyway, this is the type of quilt i will be making. you can find the pattern & tutorial on the blog: doityourselfdivas@blogspot.com

 

here are the colors i have chosen to make the quilt in & i will post a picture when it is done. they look really good in person & the picture isnt a good representation. i will try to take pictures as i go along & post a blog about it. i did deviate from the tutorial that the other blog gave....and it is super easy.

my sister lisa & her 2 daughters (olivia & emily) are facing the 10th anniversary of Jim's death - her husband/their father. words just cant even begin to help anyone. but we are thinking of them. Jim was a good guy. he loved lisa & pretty much did whatever she wanted. (i love that in a man....i seriously do. he knows what is important - to make his woman happy - & only puts his foot down when he really feels strong about it - & Jim did do that on occasion but mostly he just went with the flow). he loved his girls. he loved to laugh. he loved a good joke. he is tremendously missed. my biggest regret is that i never showed jim the respect he deserved in this life. it's amazing to me the clarity we have when it's too late. hindsight is 20/20.  the following video comes to mind when i think of jim. go rest high on that mountain, Jim. we love you & you are missed. (remember to pause the songs at the bottom to listen to this video)



also abigail is sick...way sick. she has the croup & it is scary. she coughs to the point that she cant breath. it scares me to death. she is on an oral steriod. she is on round the clock breathing treatments. i put her in a steamy bathroom after her breathing treatment because i got scared of her coughing so badly. she has been throwing up tonight - after her breathing treatment. i hate when you are so sick that the albuterol does that. i wish i could take it all for her - the illness. i hate my babies being sick. she handles it well. i gave her motrin to help her sleep. when she sleeps she doesnt cough. she is sound asleep now. this started the day (Monday) she received her blackbelt in the little dragons glass at karate. i was very impressed with what she had learned. she will start taking the beginners - orange belt class in the adult karate class next week. and come december she will belt test into the orange belt. so she will basically be 6 belts away from her black belt. (it's a 9 belt total timeframe to black belt if that helps explain where she is in regards to the adult class). anyway i'm impressed.
abigail with sensei lucas.

and for the record i am sick also. i slept until 3:30PM this afternoon. we were suppose to go down south today but it didnt happen. oh & i also joined weight watchers 1 1/2 weeks ago. it's going ok. i refuse to spend my 40's fat.
anyway, please continue to pray for us.